What all did you change? The default should work, just need to change the short/longname if you intend on just allowing your network on only (using the EQEmu serverlist) ... Don't even need to open ports.
What does your world window say when it kicks you?
You should be able to play without a login server. But if your using one, did you update the servers computer ipaddress in your login.ini and your client? Should also put it as the IP on loginserver2.
https://github.com/EQEmu/Server/wiki/Windows-Server
If you logged in on account without the loginserver, you may need to delete the account info from your db so it creates your login on server. (You would see something to indicate this to you in the world window.