If it's a truly private login server, you will be the only server listed at the server select screen.
If that's how you have it setup, in your login.ini file for the private server, change auto_create_accounts = TRUE. This will allow anyone who tries to login to your private server to type in a username/password at the account screen and it will save their username/password in the loginserver_server_accounts table in the database. However, the password will be encrypted and can never be changed (as far as I know). I usually leave auto_create_accounts = FALSE so nobody can just login to my private server and make endless accounts. I only enable it when a friend of mine wants to start playing on my server, and after he/she has made their desired accounts, I reset auto_create_accounts to FALSE.
This is completely different than if you were to login through the public EQEmulator login servers (where your server would be listed among all the other public servers) and you would have to go through the eqemulator.org registration process instead to create your usernames and passwords.
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