A decade, FQ or axgemu now EQEmu started in 2001 so nearer 20 years..with some of the beginning tools like Viktors eqinside being available in 99.
In regards to tools, maybe not the answer you're specifically looking for but this question doesn't really have a concise answer, as almost every tool that still works, and most of them still do in some fashion, is useful for its purpose.
Some of the functionality is duplicated across tools, and some of the tools contain some of the other tools embedded within.
I klnow i have most all of the following list available for use:
http://wiki.eqemulator.org/p?EQEmu_Tool_Cheat_Sheet
Along with maybe 20 odd that are not in the list.
Peq Database editor and EoC would the most common in use i would say for your more generic item/mob editing, but when you start looking at graphics or zone modelling, there is a plethora of tools you can use for various purposes. S3DSpy, EQ-ZIP, pretty much all of zaelas's & Shendare's.
If you search around you find stuff like the old openzones, well any of windcatchers o* tools , pogee 3d editor which whilst some are incomplete / not working with today's back-end, they are still in there own right useful for exploring how things work, Particularly ones that come with source.
Other stuff like the older guidebooks/ quest lexicons etc are still useful, although alot of the info is no on the wiki in some form.
This is one of the greatest things about eqemu, the vast majority of everything is open, to allow you to really make whatever you want to with a server, as long as your prepared to spend some time learning the various tools and what you can do with them.
As you've already eluded to , most of the resources and particularly the people themselves are very open and helpful in this community.
In short , for your server you say you are lost. My advice would be to treat it as a job / project but enjoy what your doing.. (Running a server almost becomes a job)..
You just need a plan. Starting from where you are now, what you need to do, and plan the steps to get there for each piece. Small documented steps are always easier than just looking at the big picture and panicking about how you need all of this done, and becoming overwhelmed.
KentaiVZ