I have the same problem regularly, about 1/3 of my connection attempts to play servers result in a hanging black screen (usually Irreverent server). Sometimes if I let it sit there for 5-15 minutes, it will eventually get a kick somehow and send me to the character select screen, but certainly not every time. Sometimes just restarting the client repeatedly will eventually get a connection to go through. More often however I can not even get to the server select screen and I just get an "Error: a timeout occurred" message for hours on end after entering login name and password (as has been the case for the past 24+ hours). I won't even start on the issues of lag/disconnects/crashes that occur once actually on a server (disconnects while zoning also average about 1/3 for me, which then sends me back to the start of the cycle of hoping to even get to the server select screen and so on).
While this probably won't help you fix anything, and may even be inaccurate, I assume all of this occurs because of a poor connection to the server(s). Too slow of a ping time so it just drops you before it gets a chance to actually make the connection to whichever server you selected (login or play).
You might try port forwarding if you are able and haven't already, could possibly help you establish connections more quickly and reliably.
In my case, I have always assumed that the ping time from my location on a small island in China is just too slow, and these problems will always be present for me. Port forwarding is not an option on the proprietary phone line DSL modem/router/tv receiver that the government run internet provider requires to be used in my area. My up/down speeds max out about 40kb/400kb, and are usually lower. When I am able to log on, I have never seen the latency meter at a value lower than 400ms, usually it is closer to 1k+.
If anyone has ideas on things I might try to improve my connections to the login/play servers, I would certainly be interested in hearing them.
For reference. I am running UF on a x64 Win7 install (eq set to utilize single cores), and have done fresh install cycles on several occasions. My eqhost.txt file is correct (login.eqemulator.net:5999), as is demonstrated by the occasional ability to connect. The debug log files show timeouts when failing/losing connections to play servers, and though the debug doesn't indicate anything when failing to connect to the login server, the UI error message for timeout is given.
Hope you find a solution to your problem justnofx. Check your dbg.txt file in the logs folder, see if anything different can be learned there. Otherwise, assuming your bandwidth/ping speeds are sufficient from your location, port forwarding (if you aren't already) is the only thing I can suggest.
Cheers.
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