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-   -   1017? Here's your sign... (https://www.eqemulator.org/forums/showthread.php?t=11929)

Scorpious2k 02-15-2004 02:38 AM

1017? Here's your sign...
 
Found this a long time ago, decided to share....

by Bill Engvall

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm STUPID". That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign."

It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U- Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope-Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it.

"All right Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good...They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist.

I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me! Here's your sign."

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!" See? If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't ya know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report.

He went through his basic questioning... ok... no problem. I thought sure he was clear of needing a sign... until he asked "So..is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said "no I'm deliverin' a bridge...here's your sign."

I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said "Are you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."

khuong 02-15-2004 02:42 AM

your so sexy :/

wize_one 02-15-2004 04:38 AM

Quote:

Aegon wrote:
Where can i download 0.5.5-DR1?


from the post right above yours

Shawn319 wrote:
Source is not availble.. only 1 production server running it right now is mine. have fun.
Here's your sign

Shadow-Wolf 02-15-2004 06:26 AM

I have Bill Engvall's Now Thats Awesome! cd, hes a funny guy don't ya think?

HiC 02-15-2004 08:56 AM

Re: 1017? Here's your sign...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Scorpious2k
Found this a long time ago, decided to share....

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist.

I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me! Here's your sign."

LOL!

samandhi 02-15-2004 10:09 AM

Quote:

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist.

I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me! Here's your sign."
Yeah that has to be one of my favorites jokes for a long time.. And just imagine a VERY thick southern accent when saying this...:)


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