Troubled? Depressed? Don't worry, Melwin helps!
 

So. Everyone's got their problems. Maybe the girlfriend just dumped you, maybe you've got a drug addiction and you're whoring yourself out for your next fix. Who knows?

Either way, Friendly Melwin is here to help. So post your question, and I'll give you a solution!

Melwin, I have no rl friends. What should I do??????

my gf too shy to secks...sup?

i smoke too much crack.

Melwin, EQEmu code is like spaghetti ...help me~

EQEMU's version of Dr. Phil?

Melwin, Dr. Phil is a fat fuck and is selling diet books. How can we stop this?

Melwin ~ My girlfriend already broke up with me once, and now shes going back out with me and dumped the other guy. She never did anything with him because he was too shy, but even when we were broke up, she still called me and said we can still be best friends. It's just she has never been out with anyone else besides me, and it's kind of a long distance relationship, but now were going back out, and next time I see her July 22nd, I'm sleeping over for 11 days. Think she's gonna break up again?

If you were just joking around ignor this~ :lol:

Draupner
Get rich. Winning the lottery might be something to look into. Everyone loves rich people, except hippies, but nobody likes hippies anyway.

boucoune
Duct tape is cheap, and fake medical licenses so you can get chloroform aren't that hard to get ahold of.

KhaN
Add salt, boil for ten minutes and eat with ketchup.

rizzen04
Except not fat!

RexChaos
Dr. Phil is actually Satan's avatar on earth. You'll need plenty of holy water and a cross to defeat him.

Spike
Long distance relationships are bound to fail. They never work.

My recommendation is 25 condoms and that you break up with her once the condoms are out.

I wouldn't say NEVER. I met my wife on the internet back when chat rooms were just called "Talkers" I lived in Massachusetts and she in Michigan. We kept a long distance relationship for quite a while before we moved in together, next month will be our 6th wedding anniversary.

Yes it is hard but they dont always fail.

Melwin, I'm already rich though :(

I can't win the lottery Uncy Melwin! Do you have any tips on winning the Lottery? Can you donate to me through paypal? kkthx~


P.S. Can we call you Uncy Melwin , or Santa?

rizzen04
Your wife is actually a bag of Cheerios.

Draupner
Suicide seems like the only option. The only thing people love more than rich people is losers!

Dave987
Rob a bank? I hear bankrobbing is hot this time of the year.

Good god, Mel must have gotten another shipment from the crackhead fortune cookie company...

i robbed a bank that was full of cheerios, what should i do?