Ok I played around with a login process.. this seems to work:
1. Login using quickjoin server button.
2. Everquest will stop.. kill it using alt-ctrl-del (the task manager)
3. Re-run EQ and Login using the server select screen.
4. Wait until your list of expansions starts to scroll (to show you what expansions you have) before picking your server, then join.
5. Say yay and play a whole lot
Also, if you're boxing multiple characters you need to log on to a character before it will work for additional boxes.