@ Sakrateri: I'll definitely keep that script in mind, it's something quite similar to what I've had in mind today.
@ FNW: Most of that thoroughly confused me, but as I post this (mind you, it's taking a while to post since I'm rewriting as I go), I'm going over the DB double checking everything you listed. So far, the only starting items I've replaced are the weapons, backpack, and light source, and I can get the backpack, light source, food, and drink to appear in the proper inventory slots just fine. So far, it's only equipped slots and slots inside the starter backpack that aren't working. I've shifted a few things around tho, so I'll test it out again and go from there.
Thanks again everyone for the pointers and tips, I'll let you know how it turns out.