The server list is your best bet. The only servers that aren't on that list are private server and a couple of other ones that prefer not to use the Login Server for whatever reason (Shards of Delayla being the most popular one).
Try this post for some reviews:
http://www.eqemulator.net/forums/showthread.php?t=24875
If you want it to be as close to live as possible, you probably want PEQ. But, any of the servers with more than 10 or so players on them are all probably fun servers. If you have never tried a custom server, you might want to try one out, cause they are pretty fun and addictive
