I was having a similar problem. I loaded all the server stuff on a seperate computer than my titanium was loaded on.
I found a post that if one user is logging in and the host is set to localhost for that user, it locks the server and no one else can login.
This is my config file.
<?xml version="1.0"?>
<server>
<world>
<shortname>Server 1</shortname>
<longname>A Test eqm server</longname>
<!-- address has to be specified for minilogin to work -->
<address>192.168.254.133</address>
<localaddress>192.168.254.133</localaddress>
<!-- Loginserver information. -->
<loginserver>
<host>Server 1</host>
<port>5999</port>
<account></account>
<password></password>
</loginserver>
<!-- Sets the shared key used by zone/launcher to connect to world -->
<key>sdgsdgsdgsdgsdgsdgsdgsdgsdgsdgsdgsdgsdg</key>
<!-- Enable and set the port for the HTTP service -->
<http port="9080" enable="true" mimefile="mime.types"/>
</world>
<!-- Database configuration, replaces db.ini -->
<database>
<host>192.168.254.133</host>
<port>3306</port>
<username>root</username>
<password>XXXXXX</password>
<db>peq</db>
</database>
</server>
You will now need to add an entry into your mysql user table. Create another root user with the host field set to your server's IP address.
Also make sure that you have added your friends accounts into the peq accout table adding their ip addresses into the host field.
Hope this helps. I am still having one issue regarding not being able to load my character because the traps will not load. If anyone has any suggestions to fix this, I would be much appreiciated for it.
Best regards
Joe