I have seen many servers come and go in the time I have been with EQEmu. That is the nature of the emu (any emu). They come and go, they start and stop to restart different later as something else.
As a server OP, if it ain't fun to make why do it? Most (not all as I won't generalize) that I have seen start their first server in such a way where they remove all the things they disliked on live. It is sheer obviousness that Sony designed the live server to have so many annoyances that people share. So in actuality it is a rather no brainer to see new startup servers with these things you point out.
In essence for the server OPs they are (at least for me it is/was) setting up the EQ they would have liked it to be when they were most annoyed, most stressed and/or most disgusted. This is human nature to remember the negative the best and negativity stays with us longer.
So, once the negativity is quenched by the server running long enough and the "newness" wears off. THEN they either leave it up and keep having "fun" or they get bored and take it down to never start another.....or they rethink their ideas on the basis of it being completely detached from SONY and make a more balanced or fun server in a different way.
Many that have their own servers that used to play on live loved the essence of EQ. Ranting about how you think they should have fun won't bring about any constructive collaborations. If anything, if rants or complaints in such a general form get out of hand and start to pollute the general mind set it could drive some to say hell with this and use a non-emu login server and cut you(us) out entirely.
Its like television. You don't watch every channel your set receives right? You don't always watch it or watch it when there isn't anything on you like on any channel, right?
So is with the server list. If they don't offer what you like, don't play on them. The advantage we have here is, you can play on live or make your own if you don't like whats on the menu.
I think the whole emu experience is an evolving experience for all involved. Seems your emu experience has evolved past your willingness or ability to accommodate it (read between the lines here this is not an insult. I mean you no longer or perhaps never found fun in an easy EQ experience. But not everyone has that in mind here for themselves.)
Now for players, I feel it mirrors server OPs. They have the same drive to want the stuff that was either too obnoxious or hard to obtain, even tedious and not wanting to repeat everything that has been done before. So they at first want an easy play experience. Heck some never have the desire to change this type of game play they desire. Some do and they look for a new server or turn into a server OP and make a different server than they see on the list. Of course some never want to be spoon fed, and there is nothing wrong with that.
But you will never get people to change the server they host in such a manner as this. You say you don't want to do it alone. Well then you are stuck with 4 options. Organize a group to get one going, suck it up and start one for yourself, play what is out there and deal with it, or not play at all. We all have those choices. We all pick our path. You will get no where trying to mold a path for others.
edit: btw I took a bit to write this and all posts after the first page were after my hitting the reply button. so my comments are in responce and relation to the first page only.
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Just another face in the crowd..
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