I recommend trying The Hidden Forest server (THF). Fading Memories was fixed in their code for one, and works just like Live did. Raids will require at least 1-2 groups to do, but it is a custom server. After getting some gear you can easily go rape any old world bosses you want. You can also 3 box most of the custom raid mobs if you are 2-3 tiers ahead of it in gear. There are currently 8 raid tiers on that server, with another coming soon I think.
There are also many guilds that have a high social atmosphere, so you may even be surprised there. A big issue with emu is that everyone usually 5-6 boxes so there's no communication. On THF there are guilds that limit boxing to either no boxing at all, or at max 2-3 toons on a raid. It promotes socialization when people aren't so busy boxing 5-6 toons.
The server is a blast to play on, and I highly recommend you give it a shot. You won't be disappointed =)
PS. Most servers have "Bots", which are essentially EQEmu's version of mercenaries. Type #bot help in game to see how to create one, etc.
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