This is the play guide:
http://eqemulator.org/wiki/wikka.php?wakka=PlayGuide
And these are some server guides:
http://eqemulator.org/wiki/wikka.php...CategoryServer
In the play guide, you'll want to take note of how to set up your eqhost.txt file to connect to the correct server and to set up your eqgame.exe shortcut to not patch from SOE's servers.
In the server guides, you just kind of have to fiddle around until you get it working... they all are either a little unclear in parts or incomplete or outdated. Ask questions if you can't figure something out.