That was indeed what I was overlooking. I had the address set, but forgot to uncomment the setting!
I'm too used to # and ; and // as comments, I looked right over <! and didnt even think about it!
Much thanks from me and my players, we are up and going now
As for hamachi not being needed, its not that sony scares me (they do!) its that my ISP has already sent me one nastygram about running servers. So I no longer run anything on my open IP.
Hamachi works fine with eqemu, just set local_network = 5. in login.ini