Did your Steam install of EQ create a shortcut on your desktop when it installed? Is that how you are starting EQ, or are you using some other way? When playing on Live, make sure you don't edit the shortcut or anything like you would for EQEmu.
You might try moving your Steam download of EQ to another folder and making a new shortcut to Everquest.exe for the new location. If you are on Windows 7 or Vista, it can cause some weird issues with programs that are in your program files folder. I would suggest trying to move it right to your C: drive to something like "C:\Everquest_Live". Also, make sure you make another copy of your unpatched Steam EQ folder and name it something like "C:\Everquest_UF" so you don't overwrite your EQEmu play folder when you update to Live.
If all else fails, I think SOE has a launcher you can download that will download the entire client for you from their servers as long as you have an active Live login account.
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