Zerj -
The player community is essentially a marketplace, and servers are products. Trying to force a product on the market simply does not work - you design a product and if there is appetite in the market for your product, then it will be successful. Your post reminds me of conversations amongst players who dislike boxing, where they suggest that preventing boxing will result in everyone grouping - it's simply not true. While some players will group when they can't box, a significant number will simply look for a product where they can box. Likewise for your server - the people you've seen logging in and complaining about the difficulty are not your target market and there's no point trying to 'convert' them.
Fortunately for you there IS a market for this type of server. These types of players are playing project 1999 and the 1999 population is by far the largest population of any emu server (at a glance it outnumbers the others combined). If I were in your shoes I would stop worrying about the miscellaneous players who quit because your server is hard, and instead - take enormous comfort in the fact that the 'hardcore' format has attracted the biggest player base of any Emu server. I think you need to stick with your vision and ensure your content is top notch. If your 'product' stacks up with P1999 then get the word out amongst the right people (market) and let them choose with their feet. If you still have no interest then you have more work to do on your server
