There are lots of possible answers to this however any decent source control system will do (most) of what you need. Syncing the database between developers will probably be the most tricky aspect. I wrote/use a relatively small (and slow!) python program for syncing my local development DB with an external/live DB. It is a one way operation though, I only push changes to the external DB.
Consider that EQEmu uses github for source control and I believe it is working well for them.
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