This isn't a department store
You dont have many choices when it comes to databases, unless you want to go through the pain of rolling your own.
Grab the sql database from EQEmu-0.3.13-Win32.zip and source it into your newly created and empty eqemu database. Then grab EQEmu-0.3.13-DB-Addon.zip and source resource.sql (this will add lots of goodies to your db). Grab and source dbupdate.sql from EQEmu-0.4.0.1-Win32.zip and you will be gtg.
The last time I ran my emulator (a few wks ago) there are some error messages generated by the zone server when using this database, but it works and doesnt cause me crashes.