Well your not gonna like this, but here ya go.
1) You currently can't play regardless, not patching= too old of a EQ version. Patching= too new. Until the dev's can get EQEmu updated there is nothing you can do besides packet collect for them on an EQ live account if you have one.
2) Patching overwrites eqhost.txt. The point is moot, but when EQEmu and EQ are working together you will need to know this.
3) Problems with patching are strictly your computer connecting to sony's I have not see or heard of anything like your problem. Best suggestion is to try the offical EQ web pages and message boards for info.
4) Havn't played in 5 years? Dosen't that mean you quit sometime around the beta/original release? But you have Kunark and Velious ... Sorry had to call you on that exageration
Really your best bet is to check the EQ boards for info on the patching problem, then you will have to wait for the emu to get fixed to work with the latest patch.