I find it odd that you put gentoo into the category of not slimmed down. Gentoo is definately slimmed down. You have to install whatever you need to get it to work. So if you don't want extra crap don't install it.
FYI for gentoo to run as EQEMU server I only needed mysql. After I built the box I emerge mysql and ssh (for remote admin crap) and was good to go.
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