If your friends are connection over the internet you MUST use the ip from whatismyip. And since I am pretty sure you have a router/firewall, you also MUST set ports 9000 5997 and 7995-7999 to foward to your computers lan IP (the other IP you have)
Note 7995-7999 are the port numbers used in boot5zones, If you use more zones/ports you have to foward those also. Each zone must have it's own port.
Also take a look at
http://www.eqemulator.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=4177 in the tutorials and howtos forum