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Virus11
03-12-2005, 04:56 PM
I thought this was so funny I had to post it here:

Conventional yelled like a japanese school girl being attacked by a rapid octupuss with 20 tentacles. He was carried off to the monsters lair. While in the monsters lair, which was filled with various skeletons and a very odd stench, Conventional had a brilliant idea. He had seen many movies and had played many MMOs over his vast lifetime, and thought it would be wise to attack the monster. The monster stood 20 feet high, and Conventional was only about 6 feet high. The monster weighed over 3 tons, and Conventional only 300 pounds. Conventional slowly stood up from his corner he was placed in. The monster was busy over a very large pot. Conventional inched toward the monster, hoping he wouldn't be seen. Unfourntaly, he stepped on a twig, and then proceed to trip on a rock. The monster turned around, and Conventional started crying. Oh, if only he could go back to playing games all day and mooching off his parents. But no, the monster had other plans. The monster picked up Conventional, and threw him in the pot, filled with boiling water and various limbs. Conventional screamed and yelled, but he could do nothing. The monster snickered in delight. Conventional jumped out of the pot, his clothes burning and sticking to his already hot body, but the monster was quicker. He punched Conventional and threw him against the wall of his lair. Conventional jumped up, and got into his monk's stance he learned from playing EQ. The monster laughed and ate him. Conventional was still alive though, inside the monster's body. But he was not alone. Along side him, there was a familiar face. It was daefuin. He had been caught when he was furiously fapping away, and was literatly caught with his pants down. The monster had made quick work of him, and now he was with Conventional. They were floating in the monster's stomach acid, which smelt like carots. daefuin had been there for days though, and learned how to live off it. Conventional was digusted, and they tried to think how to escape. Daefuin, being about 6 feet high and about 70 pounds, was to be used as a piercing device. Conventional picked up Daefuin, and rammed his head against the monster's stomach, but no! All they heard was a metal BINK! The monster was really a robot! No wonder they were still alive. They were in a jam, but what could they do!? Our heroes were in the belly of a monster, with no seeable esacpe. They had no ideas, and were growing weaker from lack of food, and living in their own waste. Their end seemed near, but they were unable to do anything. The only way out was up, and the opening was closed, and gravity denied them their only escape. Then Conventional had an idea! If the monster was robot, surely he must think logically! He decided to ask a paradoxical question, which should destroy the robot. He coughed, and then said loudly, with a new sense of pride from living in his own waste and eating a combition of robot, daefuin, and his own dispellings. "I have a question for you! Surely you are a very intelligent being, so I have a question for you. I know this person on Guild Wars named Gloin. If he is the true PvP champion, then why is he a newbie?!" The robot thought for a second, made a very loud sound, and exploded! Ahah! Conventional thought, he had done it! Surely an egotistical newbie could not be a champion, especially since he was a DWARF! Conventional and daefuin stood together in the cave. They ran throughout the maze of the monster's lair, a very large and intricate labrynth. After hours of searching, they finally found the exit. They looked out with horror! In every direction, for as far as they could see, was total destruction. The planet was covered in a layer of death, crumbled buildings the only sight to behold. A wasteland, what had happened!? They searched all they could find, but all they could find was total destruction. Something must have happened, a nuclear war or something. They had no idea, but were scared and lonely. Then, a voice from the heavens spoke up. "Greetings! I am God! A very sad day, it appears as if all humanity was destroyed by someone who accidently used the bomb overdrive device, then hacked the gibson! Everyone is dead, except you two. You will need to trust me when I say the following, all will be alright, I assure you."You two are the only ones left in humanity. You have been granted the task of repopulating the earth." Daefuin was confused. "We are both males!" He said. God replied "It will be alright. Through my power, I will let it happen. Go at it, and your spawn will be in good hands. The new earth. Conventional slowly got behind daefuin. He was scared, but he had done this before, so knew what to do. "We might as well get it over with" daefuin said. The two went at it, for 4 long and excruiating hours. When they had finished the act, God appeared. "Pwned sucka foo, you guys are gay as a mofo! LOLZ!" God excalimed, then flew away. The two sat there in disbelief. They were shocked. They had just commited the speakable, and were now truly alone. Months passed by, and slowly daefuin's stomach got much larger. Conventional thought they were just experiencing the effects of Ethopianitis, but he was not. A living being was inside him. After 9 months, they knew what was happening. And the time came. Daefuin slit his stomach open, and ripped the baby out. It was a tiny Virus! What joy, the two were experiencing. The three grew up, lived their lives, and one day after 90 years. they were living in a treehouse. It was a very well kept treehouse, and it was only three of them. They had crazy parties all the time, just the three of them. Suddenly... everything turned white... Richardo opened his eyes, and found his bed to have a giant wet spot where his torso had been. It had all been a dream, a very exciting one at that! Fin.
~By Enoex

daefuin
03-12-2005, 04:58 PM
Rishardo has wronged me.