Welcome to the community! I think you will like it
To find the right server for you, your first stop should be to check the server list page here:
http://www.eqemulator.org/index.php?pageid=serverlist
You can click the View link next to any of those servers and find a bit of information about them. Most have website links in there, so you can get further details about the servers that sound interesting to you.
There are quite a range of server types, and you will probably want to try a few of them to see if they are something you will like.
The most populated server is P99, which is based on EQ as it was back in 1999 and recently released Kunark as well. If that is your thing, then you might want to give it a go. Keep in mind that they have an IP limit of 1 on that server, so for your family to play you will need to get IP exceptions. They can take at least a couple of weeks to go through (if not more) from what I have heard, so keep that in mind.
As far as a Live-Like experience goes that is beyond classic/kunark, I would recommend PEQ the Grand Creation. It has a good population and a top notch dev team. The PEQ Database is what nearly all servers are based off of to start with, so that speaks to their reputation. I think they are currently working on the GoD and Omens expansions, but all of the expansions previous to that should be completed or near completed.
If you want a real newbie feel, you might also try some of the custom servers. Nearly all of them have fairly accelerated experience rates, so you could get a good idea of how much you might enjoy a particular custom server within a day or 2 of playing on it.
Custom servers vary quite a bit, but most of them with a population of about 20 or more (at any given time) are worth checking out. Though the populations may seem very low compared to Live servers, you have to keep in mind that custom servers are modified to be easier than Live, so you don't need a 72 man raid to complete end-game content (in most cases all content can be done with 1 to 3 groups). Also, since custom content takes a lot of work to create, the number of custom zones is very limited compared to the 500+ zones that are available on EQLive. Most custom servers have around 50 or less custom zones, so a lower population seems larger since there are less zones to spread players out across.
The most popular custom servers are fairly easy to tell based on the player numbers you see on the server list. All of the Legendary servers have been around for years, and most of the preferred servers have as well, so there is little need to be concerned that the server might disappear without a trace. With the white servers, some of the more popular ones have been around for a while as well, but some of them haven't. You may still want to check some of them out, but just be warned that if they haven't been around long, the server may or may not last. Many only make it a couple months before the owner/admin gives up and shuts it down.
Of the preferred servers, the only 2 I would not recommend for you to bother trying are Dragon Soul (because it is a Chinese server), and Scars of Amerous (because the admin has basically stopped maintaining it a long time ago).
I run Storm Haven, so obviously, I would recommend for you to check it out if it sounds like something you might like. We have an IP limit, but the limit is 4 accounts which should be fine for you and the wife/kid. The limit is part of why our player numbers are lower than some of the bigger ones. Servers like PEQ and EZ don't have IP limits. so some of their players box 18+ accounts. I don't think THF has a boxing limit either, but they also have Bots enabled, which are kinda like the EQEmu version of Mercenaries, so I don't think they have as many "big boxers" as PEQ and EZ do.
The custom servers I would recommend to you would be Storm Haven, EZ, THF, and Akka's Funhouse. Each of those servers give different custom experiences. The Irreverent server may be good as well, but I have never personally played on it, and it is designed more for solo play.