I feel bad

[Docs]

I just realized, i am so far behind the times it isnt funny.

Graduate in college with good grades, leave to become a owner, and ceo of another company, and i havent been doing what i really enjoyed. I am a programmer. Now i am a hacker with 0 languages behind my belt.

I had at one time close to 10 languages (which btw, where the languages) I am finishing up on C, and C++ then i find out 15 years pass? and i havent been able to return to what i enjoy.

Something just isnt right here.

[RangerDown]

Yeah, as you go up in the ranks you do less of the "task oriented" stuff and more of the general managing (which involves at least as much people management as it does task/project management). And most programmers by nature are task oriented, wanting to "get r done" and leave the big picture management to others.

As more of my hairs turn from brown to gray, I come to realize you've GOT to take a little time every now and then to do what you enjoy. Be that family if you have any, or hobbies like swimming/biking/golf/CHURN OUT A FEW (dozen/hundred/thousand) LINES OF CODE :D

Nice thing about being CEO is you usually don't have a problem getting a personal day here and there cleared with your boss :D

Later
~RD

[John Adams]

I sympathize on a different level. In the 80's, I was a rising "rock star", as were about 20mil other kids in our 20s :) Music was my life, I lived it, breathed it, ate it, slept it. I barely had a real job because "music was my life" kinda involved. Made some records/CDs, did tons of studio work. End of the 80's, me and my girl decided to get married and have a baby... so that meant real job time.

Since then, the girl and baby never happened. But the real job took over my life - that being SysAdmin of computer networks, turning into development and testing. Now, all I do is sit at a computer sometimes 12 hours a day just doing my "job" (last 18 years), and outside of work, 4+ more hours screwing with internet, forums, websites, or gaming.

I am 44 years old next week. Talk about a reality check.

/poor me!!

[Irreverent]

I feel you man. BTW happy B-day.

I was a military-trained Assembler/Cobol programmer...who's passion was in games(which just don't get coded in that shit) So I always felt like I was doing what was needed, but without fulfilment. That's where things like this fill that gap. However, it's hard because your staff is free and your players are free. So there is just too much *free* to have control.

My break came a year ago when I wrote a business proposal to Frank Herbert, LLS to create a MMORPG based off the Dune series. It didn't come to fruit, but I had and still have a base code that's pretty damn kickass if I want to go somewhere else or if I want to create my own game.

I guess the point is count your minor steps as big ones. Because the minor details somtimes are what not only get us by, but also make the framework for the future. Right now I'm in another step of that which looks it might come to fruit. So even though it wasn't at the time I wanted, or the place I expect, its coming to. That's kickass enough. So while not everything lands on target sometimes fate changes it to a better target you didn't expect.

[Docs]

I guess one day i could hire more guys to do the programming and say "Hey guys program me something"

I really did get deep into programming when i was doing it. Now i feel so far behind the times its really sad.

[cavedude]

I sympathize on a different level. In the 80's, I was a rising "rock star", as were about 20mil other kids in our 20s :) Music was my life, I lived it, breathed it, ate it, slept it. I barely had a real job because "music was my life" kinda involved. Made some records/CDs, did tons of studio work. End of the 80's, me and my girl decided to get married and have a baby... so that meant real job time.

Since then, the girl and baby never happened. But the real job took over my life - that being SysAdmin of computer networks, turning into development and testing. Now, all I do is sit at a computer sometimes 12 hours a day just doing my "job" (last 18 years), and outside of work, 4+ more hours screwing with internet, forums, websites, or gaming.

I am 44 years old next week. Talk about a reality check.

/poor me!!

Wow, you and I have a lot in common. I'm currently in the process of getting accustomed to a comfy new job in Apple's NY satellite office and while my career has been providing for me very well, everyday I consider telling Apple to bugger off, take a 99% pay cut, form a band, and start touring again. I feel like something is missing from my life and that's it. Like you, I know it's not realistic, especially with a wife asking me to not think that way. (Though ironically, her father IS a professional musician.) Maybe one day I'll snap and go ahead with that. So, if I disappear one day, this is why ;)

[Docs]

I've been starting to spend time doing the things i most want to do.

It really sucks not being able to find the time to do any of it. I have to force my nights to spend 10 mins at surfing even the internet.

[Docs]

I've been thinking about it pretty heavy. I think come winter this year, i might head back to school. Well catchup at home study.

I am going to refresh my programming skills then return to where i left off, at C.

yes its old school, but i enjoyed it so much then it eats away at me every week that passes.

I guess you can never be too old to learn, can you?

I hope i also dont disappoint myself and walk away from it.

[Windcatcher]

Oy vey. I am so there already. All I get to do anymore is review specs and UML, and perform technical project management. I recently watched GalaxyQuest and caught myself musing on the systems integration nightmares involved in building such a spacecraft. My EQEmu tools work is therapy, pure and simple.

Yeah, as you go up in the ranks you do less of the "task oriented" stuff and more of the general managing (which involves at least as much people management as it does task/project management). And most programmers by nature are task oriented, wanting to "get r done" and leave the big picture management to others.

As more of my hairs turn from brown to gray, I come to realize you've GOT to take a little time every now and then to do what you enjoy. Be that family if you have any, or hobbies like swimming/biking/golf/CHURN OUT A FEW (dozen/hundred/thousand) LINES OF CODE :D

Nice thing about being CEO is you usually don't have a problem getting a personal day here and there cleared with your boss :D

Later
~RD