Alright well, you use to be able to run lan server,but the most rescent patch broke mini login, the program which was used for that.
You could set up a normal server and #lock it and flag everyone gm status so they can join.
Well not everything works, when sony decides to patch they usually break some stuff. THere are always new things being developed. As for the xp and such, that is all database side. If you run your own server you can change that. There are a couple good db's out there. No there not exactly like EQlive, they are trying to get it as close to possible though. XP'ing is the same, spells work, with the exception of few, attacking works and everything like that, ac works but it is a little different form eqlive because they dont no the formula that sony uses. AA's dont work any more, dev need more people to packet collect em. A patch or 2 broke that and they havent been able to get it to work since. Most/All trade skills dont work.
If you don't feel like hosting your own server, there is a server that is better then EQlive IMO and it is called Winter's Roar, this server has many different features, like it made using a shield useful, by giving it a chance to block from the AC. It is a custom legit server which means no commands.
www.wintersroar.com
Well, I must go get ready for school, good luck with whatever you choose to do