If your lag and ping info is what you are getting from the standard EQ lag meter, I think you can ignore it for the most part... If your commands, such as opening your inventory, are working quickly and consistently, then you don't really have any connectivity issues, but the EQ lag meter doesn't "ping" the "server" and report ping times and packet loss, rather it reports the elapsed time between when you recieve one packet and when you recieve the next. This can be misleading because unlike the EQLive servers (with multiple players in the zone, plus moving mobs) which are almost CONSTANTLY refreshing information and sending packets to your system, when you use EQEMu you get much less frequent data transfer... only you playing in the zone, no path of motion mobs, whose location and animation data always needs updating, etc...
Generally I'd say that if your characters and the user interface seem to be functioning correctly, consistently, and quickly, then ignore the lag meter... turn it off even (can we turn it off with the EQEMu? I know we can in EQLive but never tried in the emu)
I can't help you with the spell effects though... sorry, but good luck
Kyouchou