When playing on someone elses server all you need is an account (which you have because you are posting here

) and the modified eqhost.txt (yours is correct

)
The other things are for people running there own server, but it's great to see that someone read the sticky's and readme before posting.
3 smilies for you!
The only reason I can think of for you not being able to play your chars would be because those chars are on a different account.
Like when you are playing at your friends house you were playing on his account and your chars are therefore on his account, not your account.
Are you playing on the same server as you were at your friends house?
You can create a char on a server, exit, then try to go back on that same server with your account and see if your char is still there. That would let you know if one of the above's was the problem.