I hope nobody ever has to deal with the same junk I'm putting up with...
Here was the problem / solution:
For some reason, after doing a correct / valid / whatever installation of all required components to run a server, world.exe was unable to locate perl58.dll (located in /perl/bin).
This is not an issue on my local server - only my virtual private server, which leads me to believe that the actual VPS was what caused this problem.
The only way that I have been able to fix this problem is to actually make perl/bin my eqemu ROOT directory. Talk about retarded.
Anyway, I tested it briefly last night and it seemed to work fine. I'm not thrilled about having to put up with such an ugly fix, so if anyone has a better solution, please let me know.
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