I knew the people I got in cities were probably inappropriate, but I hadn't even thought about the trigger npcs, traps, or objects... and then I went to Qeynos and got SeaKing as a pet....
So I changed the database query to ignore playable races, town citizens, guards, invisible men, objects, and boats, plus body types of 11, 33, 66, and 67, which seemed to cover all the traps and "mystic voice" type npcs. I'm sure there are other things that shouldn't be there that I missed, but it seems to work well for now.
Oh, and in homage to the broken form of the spell that was all I ever saw on Live, if the query fails or there are no monster npcs, it looks like an earth pet.
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