Troubled? Depressed? Don't worry, Melwin helps!

[Melwin]

So. Everyone's got their problems. Maybe the girlfriend just dumped you, maybe you've got a drug addiction and you're whoring yourself out for your next fix. Who knows?

Either way, Friendly Melwin is here to help. So post your question, and I'll give you a solution!

[Draupner]

Melwin, I have no rl friends. What should I do??????

[boucoune]

my gf too shy to secks...sup?

[Cripp]

i smoke too much crack.

[KhaN]

Melwin, EQEmu code is like spaghetti ...help me~

[rizzen04]

So. Everyone's got their problems. Maybe the girlfriend just dumped you, maybe you've got a drug addiction and you're whoring yourself out for your next fix. Who knows?

Either way, Friendly Melwin is here to help. So post your question, and I'll give you a solution!

EQEMU's version of Dr. Phil?

[RexChaos]

Melwin, Dr. Phil is a fat fuck and is selling diet books. How can we stop this?

[Spike]

Melwin ~ My girlfriend already broke up with me once, and now shes going back out with me and dumped the other guy. She never did anything with him because he was too shy, but even when we were broke up, she still called me and said we can still be best friends. It's just she has never been out with anyone else besides me, and it's kind of a long distance relationship, but now were going back out, and next time I see her July 22nd, I'm sleeping over for 11 days. Think she's gonna break up again?

If you were just joking around ignor this~ :lol:

[Melwin]

Draupner
Get rich. Winning the lottery might be something to look into. Everyone loves rich people, except hippies, but nobody likes hippies anyway.

boucoune
Duct tape is cheap, and fake medical licenses so you can get chloroform aren't that hard to get ahold of.

KhaN
Add salt, boil for ten minutes and eat with ketchup.

rizzen04
Except not fat!

RexChaos
Dr. Phil is actually Satan's avatar on earth. You'll need plenty of holy water and a cross to defeat him.

Spike
Long distance relationships are bound to fail. They never work.

My recommendation is 25 condoms and that you break up with her once the condoms are out.

[rizzen04]

Long distance relationships are bound to fail. They never work.

I wouldn't say NEVER. I met my wife on the internet back when chat rooms were just called "Talkers" I lived in Massachusetts and she in Michigan. We kept a long distance relationship for quite a while before we moved in together, next month will be our 6th wedding anniversary.

Yes it is hard but they dont always fail.

[Draupner]

Melwin, I'm already rich though :(

[Dave987]

I can't win the lottery Uncy Melwin! Do you have any tips on winning the Lottery? Can you donate to me through paypal? kkthx~


P.S. Can we call you Uncy Melwin , or Santa?

[Melwin]

rizzen04
Your wife is actually a bag of Cheerios.

Draupner
Suicide seems like the only option. The only thing people love more than rich people is losers!

Dave987
Rob a bank? I hear bankrobbing is hot this time of the year.

[rizzen04]

rizzen04
Your wife is actually a bag of Cheerios.

Draupner
Suicide seems like the only option. The only thing people love more than rich people is losers!

Dave987
Rob a bank? I hear bankrobbing is hot this time of the year.

Good god, Mel must have gotten another shipment from the crackhead fortune cookie company...

[darkhawk]

i robbed a bank that was full of cheerios, what should i do?

[RexChaos]

RexChaos
Dr. Phil is actually Satan's avatar on earth. You'll need plenty of holy water and a cross to defeat him.


Well...for us atheists, I don't think that will work. Perhaps I better just try a good ol' stake through the heart. Perhaps silver bullets...

...maybe a treadmill?

[Darkdrizzt]

Melwin, my life sux what do i do?

[Dave987]

Melwin , for therapy, how much do you charge per hour ?

You give such great advice! You should consider starting your own business, seriously. Few have your talent of being able to help everyone, and give good, working advice.

All thanks for Melwin's answers go to me, use paypal kkthx~


:twisted:

PS . Your advice landed me in a load of trouble.
PPS. Terms & Conditions apply
PSSS. Is it PPS or PSS ? Philosophical question for you all...

[KhaN]

KhaN
Add salt, boil for ten minutes and eat with ketchup.
Tryed to cook EQEmu code like you suggested, actually, i found someone to cook the code (Nemo), and he decided to transform EQEmu Spaghetti code into Penne Rigate code, which are better organised pastas as all knows ... it will taste very good with salt and kepchup ... 4am ... need sleep :(

[Xabob]

Spike take my addice tho its pointless to give someone whos head over heals in love advice dump her now i went thru a relashionship like that and all it was..was hurt get out of it now ^_^

[Melwin]

darkhawk
Add milk.

RexChaos
I hear Michael Newdow started a cult.

Darkdrizzt
Smith & Wesson.

Dave987
My advice is free of charge. I'm an altruist, you see.

KhaN
I'm glad my advice worked out for you. I have a 100% satisfaction guarantee, all your money back if you're not!

Xabob
Your advice is inferior.

25 condoms and a dumping equals win, Spike. Never forget this!

[Dave987]

I have a 100% satisfaction guarantee, all your money back if you're not!


PS . Your advice landed me in a load of trouble.



Refund prz~ kkthxusepaypalbye~~~

Also, my question : Can we call you Uncy Melwin?

[Lefinth]

Spike take my addice tho its pointless to give someone whos head over heals in love advice dump her now i went thru a relashionship like that and all it was..was hurt get out of it now ^_^

What the fuck, you said you were, I believe, fourteen years old in another thread. THAT MUST'VE BEEN SOME LOVING RELATIONSHIP YOU WENT THROUGH OMGWTF ROFFLES!!111!!

[bbum]

what kind of cock puffer signs up to make a post like that lol

oh btw shes cheating on you

[RangerDown]

OMG!! Melwin's avatar is eating the EQEmu code!!
Somebody stop him!

[Dave987]

OMG!! Melwin's avatar is eating the EQEmu code!!
Somebody stop him!

Kill the piggy, Kill the piggy!!
http://www.eqemulator.net/forums/images/avatars/183962515340f4376c13072.jpg

/looks at Melwin's avatar again..


Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Melwin!! Melwin!! What do we do?!

[Melwin]

Dave987
Well, you didn't pay anything, so sure, here's your refund.

And yes.

bbum
Make your own therapy thread >:(

RangerDown
Piggy has to eat, too.

Dave987
He's only eating the sloppy code!

[Mongrel]

So I met this fantastic looking girl. She wanted me, but I already had a gf and I decided to stay with her. Now the girl got a new boyfriend and I'm all jealous.

Melwin, please shoot me!

[hypershadow66]

Melwin, How many hours of therapy do you get a week?

[sotonin]

Melwin, I found this pig and i cut off it's head.

I've sinned and I don't know what to do. Please jeebus save me!

[wize_one]

Dave987
He's only eating the sloppy code!

great there goes 93% of the code..8(

[wodon]

Help me fix my Emulator so i can play it!