I think by default, Steam will download it to it's own folder, which is something like this:
C:\Program Files\Steam\steamapps\common\everquest
I would suggest making a copy of that folder, so you have a backup, if that isn't what you just said you did.
Then, just go into the folder and eqhost.txt should be visible right in there. You can always search your hard drive for it using the search feature of explorer. Make sure you have "hide file extensions for known file types" disabled, or you will just see "eqhost" not "eqhost.txt", but either way, it is the same file so it doesn't really matter. You may want to sort your folder by file name, and then just scroll down until you get to it. There are a ton of files in the EQ folder, so make sure you look closely.
Not sure what you mean by activating it offhand, though. Just make sure you do not run EQ from the shortcut Steam creates. You need to create your own shortcut from eqgame.exe and set the patchme option like the playguide in the wiki says to.
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