Its probably router/NAT/host file related... hence the reason I pointed out the 2 threads that I went through to get the same situation corrected for my server.
The bit about changing your windows host file to point to a dyndns type address just may help you so that you can connect from inside your lan while others connect from outside your lan.
As it stands right now can any friends join from outside? That would confirm that the server is at least running to the outside world, which was where I started. If you can get other ppl to connect from the outside, you know that your network is what's keeping you from connecting, and will have it narrowed down nicely to proceed.
As well as forwarding those tcp ports, you'll need to forward all udp ports > 1024 I believe, since everquest tends to flood those ports. (see also sony's firewall troubleshooting page under tech support on the EQ official site)
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