Just play on all of the servers, each one has a different flavor/feel to it. Perfection is a perception, so what may be good to someone else may not be to you...and vice versa. So, try them all...but do go past level 10+ to get a real "feel" for what the server is. Typically the tutorial doesn't really show what the purpose/feeling of a server is.
The forums a good spot to get information on a server, either that be here or the server's own forums. There you'll get to see community involvement, events, and how they identify/fix issues.
Or you can just log in and look at the server lists. The legends / prefered servers are those that are stable, been a server for YEARs, and heavily contribute to code/database/playerassistance/etc. The rest, regardless of volume, are still good but may not be seasoned servers or actively contribute to the community.
Again, try them all...find your home. Just a couple things to keep in mind is a lot of servers come up and go. So when on regular servers, if you are going to make the investment, get to know the staff. There have been servers with high populations just disappear due to whims of internal politics, lack of funds, or confrontations with players/emu staff. So if a server has been around 6+ months and still has 40+ population then you probably have lower risk of it just being a basement jocky.
Lastly, a couple things to think about. The people who developed/run these servers to it for FREE. So, don't think you're owed anything. They do this for the love of the game and their own communities. They also have another life, so can't be online 100% of the time. So don't be upset if it takes awhile for something to be done. However, it shouldn't be months before you hear anything either! Neither should you be treated unfairly, or the staff have an "ego"/talk down to you. This community is very tight, so know that your name will probably be known across the servers if you do anything really bad. So be nice on servers, forums, and the players/staff everywhere.
With that...happy hunting!
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